“So, Mamma, there’s no geyser in this place and they’ve given me a kerosene stove to heat water. What to do?”
“Hmm. Okay. What kind of stove is it?”
“Mm?”
“Does it have a pump?”
“No.”
“Good. Okay. There’s one cylindrical thing that’s loose. Pull it off. Okay? Now there should be another cylindrical thing with holes. Leave that. There should be a knob on the side that gets the wicks up. Turn it. Did the wicks come? No? Okay. Take off the next cylindrical thing with holes. Yes, yes, there is another cylindrical thing with holes inside. Now turn the knob. Did the wicks come up? Good. Now light all the wicks.”
“No, wait. Where do I put the kerosene?”
“Slosh it around. Check that it has kerosene in it. It doesn’t? Okay. So the base is like a dabba. Open it. The kerosene goes there. Then turn the knob. Light the wicks.”
Attempt #1
“Mamma! The wicks are just a millimetre high and refuse to get lit!”
“Have you turned the knob fully?”
“It’s not a knob, it’s a lever.”
“Okay, baby, have you lifted the lever fully?”
“Yes.”
“Then try again!”
Attempt #2.
“Mamma! It lit! It lit!”
“Congratulations. Now put all the cylindrical things back, heat your water and have a bath.”
No one was as impressed as I was that I managed to light a kerosene stove.
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